• Alexandra Gartman

    Fourth Post

    Now, look here, my good man. You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! I have to push the pram a lot. I am your king. Shut up! Will you shut up?! Look, my liege! We want a shrubbery!! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering sam... View Post
  • Alexandra Gartman

    Third Post

    …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Look, my liege! I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! O... View Post
  • Alexandra Gartman

    Second Post

    I have to push the pram a lot. On second thoughts, let's not go there. It is a silly place. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive po... View Post
  • Alexandra Gartman

    First Post

    This is your store’s blog. You can use it to talk about new product launches, experiences, tips or other news you want your customers to read about. You can check out Shopify’s ecommerce blog for inspiration and advice for your own store and for your store’s blog. How do I remove this post? Log i... View Post

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